I Spy
by Lolsome-o-sis girl
Summary: The 007!AU that nobody wanted.
1. Chapter 1

**I Spy.**

 _Fandom: Eve_

 _Rating: K+/T_

 _Genre: Humor_

 _Pairing: Various._

 _Summary: The 007!AU that nobody wanted._

 **AN: Written during my lectures on a Wednesday, so the chapters are quite short, but still, I** **'ve tried to tell some kind of story with them. MidnightandDiamonds encouraged me to post this with her kind words XD Pairings will appear throughout. Who knows what will happen? I don't. It'll be a ride. ;)**

 **DISCLAIMER. I own nothing.**

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1.

Out of everyone, there is no one who can irritate agent double-oh seven quite like her quartermaster.

That's not because her quartermaster - Will, to everyone else - is a bad person. Far from it. Even at his young age, younger than Eve at a lifespan of twenty years and counting, he's good - not just a good person, but good at his job too, one of the best quartermasters that they've had in the last four decades. Well, according to Nick, anyway, who proudly sings his son's praises for all the office to hear. There had been no doubt in anybody's mind that he would be anything different, though; Nick had been quartermaster once, after all, passing down much of his knowledge to his only child, and, although MI6 positions, certainly not head of branch positions, are not hereditary things, it only made sense to everyone involved that Will be appointed his father's successor when Nick stepped down.

That being said, it hasn't stop the little midget from being as infuriating as possible, right from the moment that they had first met, which involved him ambushing her in the National Gallery (on her day off, no less, after a tediously long three-month stint in Australia), in his crumpled shirt and tie, clutching his laptop to his chest with a raised eyebrow and a " _Make sure you return my equipment in one piece, double-oh seven_ ".

That's another thing: Will cares about equipment far too much. A problem, especially when it comes to Eve, as her record of bringing back equipment from the field is a mess; she's certain that, a few times in the past two years, Will has been close to blowing a blood vessel when she's trailed back into Q-branch and dropped the two remaining parts of some hi-tech device back onto his desk (although the sight of his eye twitching for nearly ten minutes, as she went through the story of how exactly the item went through its demise, is rather quite amusing; Lily has had to kick her in the shins more than once to prevent her from laughing aloud, and giving Will the push he needs to justify strangling her from the other side of the desk). This doesn't appear to stop Katherine from pairing Will as her handler for missions out in the field, meaning that Eve still has to listen to him complaining about all the equipment she's lost him, even from the other side of the world. So, really, who can blame her if, sometimes, she accidentally-on-purpose switches off her earpiece? Even if it does send MI6 in uproar until she reappears, upon which Will would often yell something about irresponsible double-ohs and how is he supposed to do his job properly if she's determined to make his life as difficult as possible? (On particularly bad days, this is followed up by some kind of wordless screeching noise, and Eve has to gnaw at her lip to stop any laughter from escaping.)

So, yes, in summary, Will and she can get on each other's nerves to no end, better than anyone else. And, honestly, that's how she wants it to stay.


	2. Chapter 2

2.

Despite the threat of being unprofessional, Will is a human being, as well as quartermaster. He has favourites, he has least favourites, anything and everything - sandwiches, weather, sitcoms. And, despite what Nick has tried to teach him, he has a least favourite agent too. Double-oh seven, to be exact.

Not that double-oh seven - Eve, if that's even her real name - is a bad agent. She's the best agent they've got, probably ever had. She's taken down corrupt politicians, gangs, criminals, all with whatever tools she has on hand, wit, and quick thinking.

But, for all of her greatness, skill, resourcefulness in the field, she's infuriating, to say the least. Especially when Katherine appears insistent of pairing him with her on every job that they get given; not abnormal, on the surface, because being quartermaster means that he often has to track the double-ohs when they're out in the field, but none of them, not even Cain The Pain, are as much work as Eve, who, it seems, wouldn't be able to comprehend the word "instructions" to save her own life - and, on occasion, it has nearly come down to that. Will can clearly remember the day she limped into Q-branch to return what was left of the EMP device he had assigned to her just days before, hand pressed to her side to try and stop the blood flow from what looked to be a particularly nasty wound. How on earth she had managed to get through boarder security like that, he would never know, but clearly she had. Sometimes, he finds himself wondering whether or not the girl doesn't hypnotise everybody somehow in order to get them to do whatever it is she wants.

Well, everybody except him, at least.


	3. Chapter 3

3.

"Aren't you supposed to be sipping martinis on some remote desert island somewhere?"

"Hardly." Eve gives Lily a half smile, receiving the usual double-oh three grin back from the agent leaning against the door into Katherine's office. "That would be unproductive."

"Like you've ever cared about productivity."

"True."

"Still, aren't you meant to be on leave anyway? You were gone for nearly a month, and yet, here you are, two days later, skulking around."

"I'm doing nothing of the sort. Apparently, Nick said it was urgent."

"Don't believe everything you hear." Lily absentmindedly fixes a button on her jacket, before inclining her head towards the office behind her. "You'd better head inside. You know how snippy she gets when she's kept waiting."

They share a raised eyebrow, before Lily moves to let her pass and Eve does so, entering without knocking, as per usual. Will is inside, tapping his foot in time to whatever data he's entering onto the tablet in his hands, along with Nick, and, of course Katherine herself, the latter glaring at the younger girl disapprovingly over her desk.

"Decided to join us, have we?" She says, before addressing the room at large. "Now that we're all here, we can get started." She taps away at the keyboard sitting on her desk, entering some command that the others can't see, before the screens on the side wall of her office light up, filling with information. There's a photograph too, the face unfamiliar.

"Arnold Gwenlan," Katherine elaborates, when nobody else in the room makes any sort of comment. "British. Thirty. Gives monthly donations to youth groups and animal charities."

"Okay. And?"

" _And_ ," Katherine continues, with a glare that Eve can feel in the back of her skull, "we also have reason to believe that he has links to one of the most high profile cyber-crime organisations in the UK. I need you -" Eve glances back over her shoulder, to see that her boss is addressing her now "- to get as much information out of him as you possibly can."

"I can do that."

"He'll be at a conference in Scotland in two days time. I'm sending both of you on the next available train in an hour -"

Eve cuts her off, much to her annoyance. "Both of us?"

"Weren't you listening? Yes, both of you. Whilst you may be able to talk yourself out of everything, double-oh seven, your hacking skills are distinctly limited, unlike our quartermaster - hence why he'll be joining you in the field. Oh, and don't worry." She gives her employees what is supposed to be some kind of reassuring smile. "Nick will be on hand, should anything go disastrously wrong. Which it won't, I'm sure, as long as both of you _follow your instructions._ " This is accompanied by yet another meaningful glare at Eve, before she asks: "Any questions?"

Eve glances at her quartermaster, who's too busy analysing the information in front of him to pay attention to the fact that he's being watched (something that doesn't fill her with much confidence about his chances of surviving in the field), before looking back to her boss, the woman watching her with an expectant expression on her face.

"No," she says finally. "No questions."


	4. Chapter 4

4.

"Do you _ever_ let go of that thing?"

Will looks up at the sound of the irritated tone, gaze travelling over the lid of his laptop. Eve is sitting in the seat opposite his, hand wrapped around a plastic cup of coffee, full of liquid that almost sloshes over the side every time the train rocks as it rattles towards the north.

His fingers carry on typing, occasionally pausing to absentmindedly brush over the stinging in the fleshy part of his hand, just below his right thumb, still sore from the injection an hour earlier.

 _Nano bots_ , Nick had explained, giving his son a pat on the shoulder. _They monitor your vital signs in the field, wherever you are._

 _I know_ , Will replied, a half smile on his face, despite the dull ache now beginning to make its way into his fingers. _I invented them, remember?_

"What?" He says now.

"I hardly ever see you without your laptop." She nods towards it with a look of disdain. "Is it somehow surgically attached to you or something?"

"It's called work, double-oh seven," he replies evenly. "You should try it sometime."

"Because sitting in front of a desk and looking at screens everyday constitutes as work?"

"Because saving you everyday constitutes as work."

" _Saving -_ " Eve looks like she's about to launch into some kind of long string of insults, only to be interrupted by the sound of Nick clearing his throat over the comms, the noise echoing in their earpieces.

" _Can we keep this civil, please? It's a long journey, and none of us in Q-branch want to listen to your arguments._ "

Eve huffs, exhale loud and irritated, before she leans back in her seat, fixing her gaze on the view of the rolling fields outside. Will fights to keep the chuckles contained in his throat.

They share the rest of the journey, even the drive to the hotel in silence. Not that Will doesn't try to start conversation; in fact, he tries three times, but Eve is the most stubborn person he's ever met and resolutely keeps her mouth shut, and, in the end, he gives up, choosing to return to his laptop and the limited information about Gwenlan that Katherine has passed on to him.

"What now?" Eve says, finally, after she's been scowling at him for an hour from the corner of the hotel room, silently watching him set up a miniature Q-branch on the desk by the window.

"Well, we can't investigate Gwenlan without talking to him, can we? There's some kind of dinner thing going on tonight. No doubt he'll be there. You can do some digging then."

"Why me?"

"I've got to stay here and keep an eye on you, haven't I?"


	5. Chapter 5

**Yep, there's more of this. Turn up _Skyfall_ , it'll be over before you know it... XD**

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5.

" _Remember, always remain -_ "

"Shut up!" Eve hisses into her glass, silencing Will's voice in her ear as she scouts around the room again. So far she hasn't managed to spot Gwenlan, despite her quartermaster's earlier insistence that he would be there.

" _Sorry._ " Then: " _I can see him. He's on the other side of the room to you._ "

"How can you tell?"

There's the muffled sound of keys tapping in the background before Will replies. " _I'm watching you on CCTV._ "

Eve turns her gaze towards the ceiling; sure enough, one of the security cameras is focused in her direction. She tips her head slightly, letting Will see her acknowledgement.

"How generous of you."

" _Like I said, someone's got to keep an eye on the other. If you need my help -_ "

"This again." Eve returns her attention to the room and finally, finally, spots Gwenlan - a man of average height, glasses perched on his nose, dressed in a suit and drinking from a pint glass. She begins walking towards him. "I'm the one who saves me out in the field."

" _With my technology and my instructions._ " His tone becomes teasing. " _Not that you take any notice of that._ "

"You'd be disappointed if I did."

" _I wouldn't count on it._ "

"I would," Eve replies, just before reaching Gwenlan; she pretends to stumble as she walks past, right in his line of sight, spilling her drink on her dress for dramatic effect, and he puts an arm out to steady her. "Thank you, Mr Gwenlan."

The man looks surprised. "You know who I am?"

"Of course." She feigns surprise. "You're a business man, aren't you?" He nods. "Well, I'm a business woman. People in business know each other."

Gwenlan drops his hold on her, taking another sip from his glass, giving her a once-over. "I don't know you."

"You do now." She holds out a hand for a handshake, one that he doesn't return. "Mary Douglas."

"Aren't you a little young to be in business?"

Eve ignores the sound of Will snorting in her ear. "That is very flattering for you to say."

"Where is it that you're working?"

"Calimov." She recites Katherine's information. "Our European division is based in London. We work in Internet security and the like."

"Is that so?" Gwenlan looks neither impressed or unimpressed. In fact, he looks rather neutral about the whole thing.

"Indeed." Eve drains what is left of her glass, before speaking again. "Where is it that you work, again?"

" _Eve!_ "

This causes Gwenlan to raise an eyebrow. "Surely someone from a corporation as big as Calimov would be aware of that."

 _Oh. Right._

"Of course I'm aware," she says after a moment, giving him a half smile. "It just slipped my mind for a moment."

"Then I suggest that you check back with your employer, Mary." He holds her gaze for a long moment, without saying anything more, before someone else calls him away, diverting his attention, leaving Eve alone with her empty glass.

" _Mary Douglas?_ " Will asks, a second later. " _Really? Was that the best you could think of on the spot?_ "

"Mary Douglas was my mother's name."

" _Ah._ " Evidently, he picks up on the past tense, because he quickly changes the subject. " _I guess that went sort of well. We learnt that he's not going to talk about his work just like that._ "

"We learnt something else too. I got his room number - 475."

" _How do you know that?_ "

"His key was in his top pocket. When he caught me, I noticed it. Stealing his key would have been too obvious, but memorising the number was easy. He must have some personal files in there that we can learn from -"

"Hey." She stops suddenly as an unfamiliar voice interrupts her. A guy - dark hair, brown eyes, raised eyebrow - is stood a few feet away, watching on with interest. "Are you, er - are you talking to yourself?"

She can hear Will mumbling some kind of expletive, as she nods, defiant. "Yes. I am. Why?"

"No reason." The unnamed person takes a long gulp from his glass, before slowly returning his focus elsewhere.

Eve's pretty sure both she and Will breathe a sigh of relief at this.

* * *

 **LET THE SKYFAAAAAAAAALL...WHEN IT CRUMBLLLLES...Ahem. Sorry.**


	6. Chapter 6

6.

Will blows the steam rising up from his mug of tea. "Where are you going now?"

" _Where do you think I'm going?_ " Even from the security cameras in the hallway, he can see Eve rolling her eyes as she walks. Luckily, the hallway is empty, so no one will catch the two of them talking - again, Will thinks. " _I'm going to Gwenlan's room. He must have a personal laptop or something that I can get into._ "

"Do you know what you're doing?"

" _Of course!_ " She says indignantly, glaring up at the camera closest to her. " _I've got you, haven't I?_ "

"How touching," he says, only half joking, taking an experimental sip of the tea as he glances at the other cameras. No one else in the immediate area, it seems, meaning that they can talk freely. "I didn't know you cared."

" _There's a lot you don't know about me._ "

"Wow." He snorts. "Do you use that line on _all_ the blokes?"

" _It works._ " She spares a look at the next camera in the hallway, eyebrow raised. " _Works better on women, though._ "

Will takes another gulp of tea. It's more manageable this time, less scalding. "I see."

" _You don't seem surprised._ "

"I've been quartermaster for the past two years, Eve. Not a lot surprises me anymore."

" _Alright. Well, good._ " Eve is still watching the camera, her expression less surprised and more curious than anything, but Will's attention is suddenly drawn by something else, the presence of someone else in the corner of one of the camera feeds.

"Eve -"

" _What -?_ "

"Don't reply." She stays quiet, apart from the rush of air that flows from her lungs over the earpiece. "You're being followed. By that guy from earlier, it looks like."

Her posture immediately straightens, cautious and on guard. She merely hums in response, a sound that could just be a noise of thought to others, but Will can tell it's an acknowledgement that she's understood him. She carries on walking for the moment, maybe slowing her pace slightly, as if allowing the stranger from before to catch up with her. He's barely three feet away from her when she turns, lunching and landing a punch in his face. The guy stumbles back, staggering slightly, before he's all but tackled to the ground by Eve, who neatly deflects any resistance he may attempt until she's stood over him, fists still bared to protect herself.

" _Wait -!_ " He holds his hands up, surrendering. " _It's okay, it's okay - I thought I recognised a fellow sister. CIA, I'm guessing? NSA?_ "

Eve gives him a once over, still not moving. " _What's it to you?_ "

" _Zac._ " He looks like he's considering moving for a handshake, but the expression on Eve's face must stop him. " _DGI._ "

"Cuba," Will relays to her quickly, and Eve repeats the answer aloud.

" _That's right_." He reaches, when she gestures that it's okay to do so, into his jacket pocket, bringing out an ID. It looks genuine, from what Will can see on the screen of his laptop and given the fact that Eve looks slightly more relaxed than she had done a second ago. " _I'm guessing the US is here for the same reason we are?_ "

" _No,_ " she corrects. " _MI6. But I'm assuming that reason is PRICE?_ "

" _That's right._ " He nods vigorously. " _My boss has been concerned for a while - I have allies here in the UK, so I figured I'd take the job._ "

" _Why would Cuba be concerned?_ "

" _This thing is bigger than you think. PRICE appear to have links all over the world. Smaller companies, but it's enough to cause some damage. I've been sent to check out this Gwenlan man, and bring him in if necessary. Something that would take a lot of the strain off MI6, right?"_

" _There's no strain,_ " Eve replies, her tone indignant. " _What are you trying to say?_ "

" _I'm trying to say -_ " Zac manages to pull himself up into a sitting position, slowly, so as not to earn himself another injury. " _\- how would you feel about working together on this?_ "

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 **In case anyone's interested, DGI - or DI, in some cases - is short for Directorate of Intelligence, which, if my research is correct, is like the Cuban equivalent of the British secret service. NSA is National Security Agency and CIA is Central Intelligence Agency, both of which are based in the USA.**


End file.
